Manly Catholics Listen
Real Catholic men know how to listen. It takes a lot of effort, as listening does not come naturally to many guys, but it is possible.
I will tell you right off that I was not the best listener. In fact, I would say I was the typical guy, functional ears that are used selectively and often out of sync with the brain’s core processor.
My ears worked, but I wasn’t really paying attention. Most of us do that. Often while others are talking, men…
- Glance around their surroundings
- Look at body features
- Think of something other than what the speaker is saying
- Craft their response
- Interrupt the speaker
- Do something else (read, phone, text, play a game, type, etc.)
“Oh, I am listening.”
“Keep talking. I hear you.”
Liar! The only proper thing to do when listening is to attentitively listen. They are the only person in the world that matters at that moment.
- phone, device, book, etc is away and untouched (yes, even if it buzzes)
- Eyes on the eyes. Not a stare, but an engagement. Look them in the face. Nowhere else, guys (and you know what I am talking about).
- Let your body language show you are listening. A simple nod or an “okay” is fine.
- Focus your mind on comprehending what is being said, not on what you want to say when it is your turn.
- Pay attention to body language. Is the speaker upset? Happy? Mad? Pay attention.
- When they finish, IF the conversation you have heard needs a response, make sure you understand what was said. THEN think of the most appropriate response.
- Don’t interrupt. Allow for pauses. An attentive listener will know when the other party is done.
- Don’t allow yourself to be distracted during or after the person’s talking.
This takes loads of work, but faithful stewardship of your attention will become second nature over time. This is an act of true respect, even to those with whom you disagree. It is also a sign of maturity and stability.
To my single buddies out there, this will pay off for you HUGE regardless of the vocation to which you are called. I DARE you to make this change.
Catholic dads and husbands, get your act together and start listening today.
Posted on May 22, 2014, in Catholic Belief, Catholic Family, Catholic Husbands, Catholic Manliness, Parenting, Personal Witness and tagged catholic dads listen, catholic faith, catholic husbands listen, How to listen. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.